eta carinae

i fear this nature
this mindless god
brimming with power
signifying nothing

eta carinae
stomach of this blind god
eta carinae
devour and explode

the weight of countless atoms
shining bright as one
a testament
to entropy

the star contracts
the past implodes
time bends and breaks
nothing unfolds

eta carinae
stomach of this blind god
eta carinae
devour and explode

the weight of countless atoms
shining bright as one
a testament
to entropy

look to the skies
confirm the men shall fall
all shall be undone
the heavens shall crush us all

close your eyes
close your eyes
breathe your last now, don't fear child
and now all will never know

here comes the rain
from above the sky
will this profane cloud cover be enough?

the water is poison

we left just to escape
we never imagined
all this wind and all this rain
all our hopes have surely felled us

we can't
swim forever
and this tiny lifeboat
is all that we can cling to
can't drink the water
but god it's so hard
we're already so thirsty

the storm came so quickly
we were caught still drunk with sleep
the boat capsized so easily
rigging torn by wind and waves
errant lines snap and whirl through air
errant arms flayed, we all stare
screams of pain no help will hear
but bleeding wounds call hungry sharks

can't drink the water, the water is poison
sharks are all around my raft, i cannot even think
can't drink the water, the water is poison
floating in the poison beating sun is maddening
can't drink the water, the water is poison
lost all hope of rescue i'm too scared to sleep
can't drink the water, the water is poison
cannibals surround me, i start to sink

we cling to each other
hoping for rescue
praying for change
the waiting drives us mad
we cannot withhold the thirst

we can't
drink the water
the water is poison
we drink
anyway
and we succumb to madness

saltwater makes you crazy
dried out neurons burst in your brain
we all hallucinate
she speaks in tongues, she bleeds in spades
she says that god promises rescue
she chooses madness over despair

she dies and we are rescued
they think it's a miracle
they see god's compassion
but i see
only god's hate

thrust

thrust
i'll take the blame
but don't use my name

you've got your needles
i've got 19 ways to self-medicate
you're not part of the problem, you're part of the shame
i know all of my excuses are like flowers on the grave
oh no no mostly i'll take all the blame

thrust
i'll take the blame
but don't use my name

all of my treasons calculated
trust me i am ok
i'll be practicing lies while i'm slipping away
i found a way to fix me without changing a thing
i built a lie big enough to live in

i've got this monkey on my back

doing just fine
(surely we're more than flesh)
got to have more
one to forget
(surely we're more than flesh)
one to ignore

need a disease
(surely we're more than flesh)
to go with my cure
why is my god
(surely we're more than flesh)
so hard to please?

thrust
i'll take the blame
but don't use my name

collider

fire up the beam
turn off the lights
fill the coffee pot
no one's gonna die

is the sensor on?
don't mind the buzz
the magnets are fine
just a routine alarm

frightened by the thought
of black holes forming by the thousand
they collapse upon themselves
and leave the universe that wrought them

as we quantify the moment
that unfolded from the order
of a singularity
that couldn't keep it all together

we'll know much more when we collide
(nuclei at the speed of light)
detectors are all on and primed
(we've got physicists on every side)
i might even question wisdom of our focus on beginnings
my colleagues in the past ignore future implications
focus on the source of a fundamental order
(don't you fucking move, i'm about to science)

frightened by the thought
of black holes forming by the thousand
they collapse upon themselves
and leave the universe that wrought them

as we quantify the moment
that unfolded from the order
of a singularity
that couldn't keep it all together

start the data stream
look them each in the eye
it's not every day
you win a nobel prize

fire up the beam
no one's gonna die
all eyes on the screen
i might even cry

we'll know much more when we collide
(nuclei at the speed of light)
detectors are all on and primed
(don't you fucking move, i'm about to science)

a little faster and then we'll align the beams
accelerate

accelerate

even walls return echoes

can you hear?
i hope you're listening
because i've been thinking about the ocean
between you and me
my ears strain to hear the calling
of shores beyond the seas
crashing waves no answer brings

and i criticized temptation to sew discord
and you treat my supplication with disregard
i lie many times to myself when i was ignored
tell me why you hide

even walls return echoes

and i fall
i fall on my knees as the words compose
i call
questions unanswered from long ago
i laugh at it all
the silence is golden just like idols
even walls
even the walls they return echoes

are you near?
silence is deafening
are you partial to the madmen
who search for the rocks to fling?
is it just the intermission
between act two and three?
i'll hold applause until the fat man sings

and i criticized temptation to sow discord
and you treat my supplication with disregard
i lie many times to myself when i was ignored
tell me why you hide

even walls return echoes

and i fall
i fall on my knees as the words compose
i call
questions unanswered from long ago
i laugh at it all
the silence is golden just like idols
even walls
even the walls they return echoes

even the walls they return echoes

waiting, waiting
anticipating
i'll break down
can't keep this rage in
on this stage we play the villain
bite your tongue
we'll keep on killing

even the walls they return echoes

the family

"the peons ask me questions
i speak out the side of my mouth
the truth is not for these tiny people
i'm ordained, not elected"

i've had about enough of your theocratic paradigms
fuck your new world order and your narcissistic grand designs
if you want your god to rule then he owes us one reply
why does he turn a blind eye while you sponsor genocide?

"my mistakes have become holy
my scandal without sin
i know i can do anything
the proof is in my power"

you can wash your hands but the blood remains on parted lips
i will not abide by your subterfuge and honor fifths
i will call you out as you roast me on your fire spits
you'll be roasting with me you self-righteous hypocrites

if you're the new chosen then call me your prophet
the emperor's naked and so are his subjects
crimes are not sanctioned by virtue of office
i don't give a damn who breaks out in stigmata

so it goes
stop raping my country, now everyone knows

"i am
ordained"

a game of faces

i
the half evolved
have only a mind
for crocodile tears

can't know the
simple machine
of my brain

can only
lie and claim i'm
more than my simian body

i am a tribal creature
with monkey needs
and our vast numbers
mean nothing to me
i am the architect of our steel world and conquered skies
electricity
medicine
holy wars and fratricide

i
the half evolved
see humanity
only in my tribe

my brain can't
no the cope of these
distant deaths

animal
defect strips me of
my pretensions

raise all your guns
look them in the eye
fire all at once
it's just some other tribe

i am a god
smiting the unworthy
i am a monkey
playing at god

playing at god

the great oceanid

children to my side
and lament your father's crimes
he put your sisters' arms in chains
hid your brothers from the light

from chaos your father came
and his malevolent reign must end
the godlings all stood quiet
only kronos gave reply

"gaia, grant my scythe
ensure the blade is fine
for the children that you hold dear
the old god must die"

"father my kin
cut at thy flesh
what must be done
i will be king"

"i
will be king
i
will rule everything

kronos lay in hide
awaiting the signal to strike
gaia raised her hand
and kronos swung his scythe

uranus lay maimed
deposed and gelded by his child
from his blood the furies sprang
and the new king let out a cry

"gaia from this day will rise
your knees for all mankind
my reign for endure for the whole of time
but i'll keep my scythe"

"i am the king"

uranus - he replied
"your mother keeps secrets from you and your kind
destiny, all in time
your children will rise up and take what was mine"

gaia sighed, howled, and grieved
"though you answered in my time of need
like your father before he did fall
your name will not be remembered at all"

kronos - he roared
"grasping words from a eunuch and whore
your son not so weak
as a father who dares not speak"

and then kronos avowed to consume
his children not long after they left the womb
he kept his word, to the last
he devoured them all

save one

i can't breathe

had a pain in neck
kept me up last night
could mean nothing but
something will kill me yet

this bag of flesh and bones
seems like no temple
how can i be at ease
with my mind trapped in such biology?
from mouth to puckered anus
this flesh will rot
no comfort in science or religion
in the face of that

hypochondriac
imagined heart attack
say what you want to but
this flesh will rot

this flesh will rot

this bag of flesh and bones
seems like no temple
how can i be at ease
with my mind trapped in such biology?
from mouth to puckered anus
this flesh will rot
no comfort in science or religion
in the face of that

fix on irrational thoughts that
i have some plague
avoid the resolution that
right or wrong, it's all the same

i can't breathe